Onii-chan you Pervert!
by LifeLongOcean
Summary: That title is so weird. First off, this is not JUST ShinMomo. This will be everything; from incest to straight to yaoi (ooooh yaoi ). Just wait for it. But anyways, Shintaro is a pervert! He will act like a pervert to everyone and anyone...or at least, engage in perverted situations with them. Please review for ideas, or the next chapter's pairing!
1. Onii-chan!

"Oi, Momo-chan." Shintaro called to his sister. She looked at him. "What do you need, onii-chan?" she replied.

"Do you know where my songbook is?" he asked again. "How should I know?" "Well, sometimes you mistake my songbook for yours."

"Oh really? My songbook is pink and orange, and has a cute keychain on it! Yours is red and white, and has red yarn attached to it!" Momo yelled. "Remember yesterday?" Shintaro glared at her.

_"Momo-san, this does not look like your songbook..." _

_"Eh? Rea-Uwah?!"_

_"Master! I didn't know you liked pink!"_

_"Where's my-huh?!"_

"Oh..." Momo looked down. "Can you go look in my room for it?" "Fine."

"Here she comes...here she comes..." ENE hummed to herself as she pulled up Shintaro's secret porn file. She could hear Momo's footsteps, and snickered to herself as she hid away.

"O! Nii! Chan!" Momo called out as she punched her older brother. "Haaah?!" he called out, and rolled over onto the ground. "Perverted onii-chan!" she stormed away.


	2. Shintaro!

Kido was cooking in the kitchen. The sweet aroma of her delicacy was unbearable to Kisaragi Shintaro; a former ike-NEET. Since he was high on soda, he didn't have a clue what he did this day.

"Tsubomi-chan...please hand over to me...your sweets..." he moaned out, and tumbled into the room she was in. "Shintaro, why are you drunk?" Kido could immediately tell this was not Shintaro's normal self. "Sweets..." he called out again. Kido climbed onto the counter.

"Woah, Shintaro," she was starting to get nervous, "I'm being serious."

"I'm hungry...give me your ponytail..." he reached for her ponytail. "Gyah! Stay away for me!" she jumped off and ran. "Help!" she cried. Shintaro grabbed her by her waist.

'shitshitshitshitshitshi' Kido thought repeatedly. Shintaro took a sniff of Kido's hair. "Your ponytail smells just like your sweets..." his hands started to roam awkwardly. "You have curves? It seems so-"

"Get off of me, you perverted shut-in!" Kido punched him. She glared down for a second. 'just put up ur hood n walk away' she thought, and strolled back into the kitchen.

The next day, Shintaro was at his knees begging for Danchou's forgiveness.


	3. Konoha

"Hey, Shintaro...may I ask you a question?" "Huh?

Shintaro, who was on his computer, looked up to see the albino snowman. "Yea, Konoha, what is it?"

"Would you like a stick of negima?" the latter asked. Shintaro's face went red.

You see kids, Ye Olde Shintaro was watching Negima Porn behind Konoha's back. That said, this meant that a guy like him was very arousing in Shintaro's mind. "Uh..."

Shintaro was basically Brain-Dead when he said this, but he said, "May I have Konoha's negima?" Konoha was obviously confused.

"But I am eating my negima." he questioned. "Do you want me to cut it in half?"

Shintaro left.

_I am definitely going to redo Konoha later 'cuz I'm hungry and negima is food._

_I did Komnoha because one of my favorite reviewers gave me a review to do KonoShin!_


	4. (Seto)Mary

Mary was sitting on the couch, hearing Seto read her fairy tales.

"...and the frog kissed the snake, and the snake turned..." Seto gazed at Mary, "...into the gorgeous, amazing princess she truly was." Mary blushed, then giggled.

'Gross.' Shintaro thought. He was in the next room watching a yaoi anime. No suggestive themes or anything, just pure love. Hearing this clichè story against his boy love was sickening.

"Oi...Seto. Do you mind putting that pink book down and buying some masks for Kano? He told me his mask w wearing off." Kido asked Seto with a serious face.

"Of course! Mary, we'll postpone our story here, 'kay?" Seto replied. Mary diligently nodded. "Bye."

Seto and Kido left. Shintaro and Mary were left alone. "Shintaro, what are you watching?" Mary asked. Shinatro immediately blushed at the sound of Mary's voice. "U-uh...nothing! Just a show... Mekaku City Actors! Yeah! New show and all... You can go now!"

Mary was curious. "May I watch with you?" 'No. No. No. No.' Shintaro thought, but his mouth said, "Sure. Sit here."

"E-eh?! Yaoi?!" Mary gasped, and went red. "I'm sorry! I just found it...I thought it was cool...and then...Sorry!"

Then, Mary giggled. "Well," she started, "I am a big fan of boy love."

For the next ten minutes, Shintaro and Mary sat contently next to eachother; Shintaro drinking an ice-cold soda and Mary eating a stick of cotton candy. Episode 112 came on.

"A-ah...Akihiko-kun..." Tadashi moaned. 'What?' both Mary and Shintaro thought. The screen was black.

Suddenly, an animation of Tadashi and Akihiko making love showed up on screen! "Akihiko! Akihiko! Akihiko!" Tadashi screamed. In the middle of Tadashi's second yelp, the door clicked, and opened.

The guilty duo turned to see the awe-struck Kido and Seto. Seto dropped the grocery bags he was holding just a second ago. "I-I'm sorry!" She jumped out of the blanket she shared with Shintaro and ran. "H-hey don't put this on-!

Shintaro was knocked out.

-/-

'W-y did yo- do -at?!'

'He sh-dn'- be sh-wing Mary th-se so- of -ngs! He's ru-ing her innoc-!'

-/-

_Hey! It was a request from one of my reviewers who were coincidentally on the more precious side. They wished for ShinMary with a protective Seto. Here you go! ...although I'd mostly call it; the SetoMaryShin. About to say 'ShinSetoMary' but...something tells me that isn't fully correct..._


	5. ENE

Shinatro, once, did 'it' with his computer.

Yeah, pretty gross, huh? Well, ENE was there to see it all. She's even got a video of it. What, you want me to get the video _for_ you?! Sicko, no. You get it yourself.

-/-

"Aha, you want the video?" ENE cheered. "Yes..." Reader-San replied. "Miss Author told me about it, and I wanted to see if it was real."

"Well, it is real, and I will prove it to you!" ENE smiled awkwardly for a moment. "...I've finally healed from the scars of seeing...'that'..." she laughed uncomfortably.

ENE cleared her throat. "Well, here it is! Have fun erasing this from your brain!"

**Click.**

-/-

"C-computer...*cough* I love you..."

"M-master?! What are you doing?! Too much soda?!"

"I...I'm so tempted..."

"Master, what the heck?! P-put your pants back-"

"Ugh...C-computer..."

"Master, no! H-hyaa~! What're you doing?! I'll call Little Sister if you don't sto-uguu!"

"You can't get away...haaah...from my radiating dominance..."

"Imouto-chan! Please save me!"

-/-

After 20 minutes, the video finally finished.

The video was terrifying. At first, it was just horrible. But soon, it got so terrifying that Miss God didn't even have the courage to type the rest.

"So? How does your brain feel?" ENE grinned. "Ugh..."


End file.
